Religions in Perspective

Yusuf Uncle ki Kahani - Google Reunion

Aaj kal ek "Reunion Ad" ka bara charcha hai Facebook pe. Qoobay ne bhi jab dekha tou aankh bhhar aai.

On Vimeo

 Qooba ab sunaata hai Yusuf aur Mehra Uncle ki Un-Suni kahani:

Mehra Uncle ke abbu (Kumar sahab, because thats the most known Hindu name to Pakistanis), Partition ke waqt Lahore se Delhi agaye. Butt saab (Yusuf Uncle ke abbu) aur unki family ne baray khyaal aur ahtemaam ke saath Kumar sb ko rukhsat kya.

Kumar saab and family, migration ke dauraan. Tasveer mein Mehra Uncle bhi nazar arahay hain.

Kumar sb ke janay ke baad, Butt saab ne unkay ghar pe encroachment karli. Butt saab ne apnay naam ke agay 'Syed' laga lya. Ghar bara kar ke pehle 600 gaz ka kya, phir 3 stories bana ke, teen manzila karwa lya. Maashray mein unki bari izzat rahi.

Yusuf uncle ka poora naam Syed Yusuf Hussain Naqvi thha.

Lahore mein, Mehra Uncle ko itna khatra nahi tha, jitna khud Yusuf uncle ko tha. Isi liye jab unki phone pe baat hui, tou Mehra Uncle ne kaha: "Yaar Yusuf tu hee idher mujh se milnay aaja. Mein wahan aoonga, tou kahiin teray chakkar mein, Main bhi na maara jaoon"

Yusuf Uncle ne isi mein aafiat jaani aur packing ki tayari pakri. Abhi wo dukaan band kar hee rahay thhe, ke hijaab mein ek khatoon (Khadim-e-Aala ki dukhtar-e-aala) enter huiin aur kaha "MUJHE MITHAI CHAHIYE ABHI!!!", Yusuf uncle ke saath phir jo hua wo tareekh ka hissa hai. (Tareekh ke liye, neechay video pe click karein)

Jaisay taisay kar ke Yusuf uncle airport pohonch gaye.

Udher Delhi mein, raat ke waqt Suman (Mehra uncle ki poti, Mumbai wali), Yusuf uncle ko pick karnay airport jaa rahi hoti hain. Ye jantay huey ke Delhi 'Rape capital of the World' hai, itni raat ko akelay taxi mein safar karna Suman ki bahaduri aur Yusuf aur Mehra uncle se pyaar ki ek aala misaal hai. (Qoobay ko afsos hai ke video mein iss pehlu ko ujaagar nahi kya gya). Taxi wala hanky panky karnay ki koshish karta hai lekin Suman ka apnay daaday se pyaar dekh kar, uska zehen palat jaata hai aur wo ek acha insaan ban jaata hai. Wo qasam khata hai ke ab se wo aurto ki izzat karega.

Yusuf Uncle bilaakhir visa police reporting kartay karaatay, Mehra uncle ke ghar pohonch jatay hain.

Mehra Uncle: "Oye YUSUF!!!" "Oye Yusuf, teri aankhein, ro ro ke, meri judaai mein sooji hui hain?!?!"  :'(
(Ab Yusuf Uncle kya bataatay ke aankhein tou Daughter-e-Aala ki waja se sooji hui hain)

Wo abhi baat karna chaah hee rahay hotay hain ke peechay se Maya Khan nikal ke aati hain:

Maye Khan: "YUSUF NAHI UNCLE! MAYA! Chalein aap bhi Sunil ki tarah meray saath saath parhein 'La ilaha, Ill Allah ho.....'

Mehra Uncle aur Yusuf Uncle, bari mushkilo se, kisi tarah Maya ko Suman aur Chashmay walay boy ki date ki taraf divert kartay hain aur khud wahan se cut ke Baarish enjoy kartay hain.

(THE END)

Pakistan ka Captain Phillips

Pichhlay dino Tom Hanks ki ek film dekhi "Captain Phillips".

Film dekhtay huey humein ye khyaal aya ke aisi hee film hum ko Pakistan pe bhi banani chahiye. Bil-akhir "palangtor patriotic" filmo ka daur phir chal nikla hai (e.g. Waar). Bas hum ne socha ke ab script likhna hee paray ga. Waar ki tarah thora anti-Indian element daalengay aur film hit. Isi koshish mein hum ne Pakistan Navy ki taareekh mein kiye gaye azeem kaarnaamo ko khangaalna shuru kya. Humein thori mushkil paish ayi. Hum ne thora aur dhoonda. Operation Trident, Operation Python waghaira. Jawab nadarud. Koi faida nahi. Har jaga pashemani. Ab humein fikar lahaq honay lagi. Hum pe hubbul-watni ka pressure barhnay laga. (Aisay pressure ki aala misaalein Ahmed Qureshi aur Mubasher Lucman hain)

Humko aisa lagnay laga ke audience hamari film dekh rahi hai aur hum se jawab maang rahi hai ke dikhaao koi kaarnaama iss film mein.

Aisa nahi thha ke Pakistan Navy ki kaamyaabyaan nahi thhiiin. Thiin. Bohot thhiin. Lekin jang ke maidaan mein na thhiiin. Business aur entrepreneurship ki dunya mein tou aisi aisi be-misaal kaamyabian thhiin ke Sam Walton aur Steve Jobs ush ush kar uthhein. 

Lekin film ki main theme tou ek jangi operation pe mabni thi. Hum ne socha kis tarah Bahria Complex 1, Bahria Complex 2 aur 3 ko jang ke pas-manzar mein paish karein? Kabhi NORE 1 aur 2 ke ooper ek drama bananay ka khyaal aya. Inn titles ka faida ye thha ke inkay sequels 1,2,3 bhi automatically tayyar thhe. Yaani ye Harry Potter series ki tarz pe ek kaamyaab tareen paishkash hosakti thhi. Lekin masla wohi, jangi kamyabi kahan ghussayein iss mein :(. 

Phir ek english title ka khyaal aya "Arena", Navy ka ek aur kaamyaab commercial mansooba. Ye ek acha filmi title thha. Hum Arena pohnchay, jo ke Karsaz pe waqay hai. Ye dekhne ke wahan se kin kin shaheedo ki kahaniaan nikaal saktay hain. Pehle tou kuch bachay humko Bowling kartay milay. Pins ko aisay tika tika ke gira rahay thhay jaisay Bharti faujio ko naist o nabood kar rahay hon. Seena fakhar se chaura hogya. Phir ek uncle jinki apni waist kuch 42 hogi, ek treadmill pe bhaagtay dikhai diye. Hum ne socha ke ye jang ki tayari kar rahay hain. Humko ye idea itna pasand nahi aya ke gym mein tayyari kartay har shakhs ko bahar se ba-asaani dekha jaa sakta hai. Sheesha transparent thha. Bhei ye mulk ki security ka maamla hai. Kya humko ye dikhana chahiye ke humaray jawan ki kamar 42 inch hai?

Jawan Ready for Operation Chikkar Chholay

 Thora aur agay barhay tou nannhay maasoom bachay 'rock climbing' ki training kar rahay thhe. 6-7 saal ke maasoom. Unn mein kuch uncle numa log bhi rock climbing ki koshish mein lagay huey thhe lekin unn nanhay maymaaro ki kaawish dekh ke aankh mein aansoo bhar aye :'( - Hum ne faisla karlya ke hum Arena pe hee film banayenge. Hum unkay daftar pohnchay aur apna maqsad byaan kya. Bari khushi se ek retired captain sahab ne humko welcome kya aur farmaya Membership fee Rs.25000 only. "Hain?? Bhei ye tou hamari poori film ka budget hai." Hum ne kaha. Unho ne apnay ek saathi ko aankho hee aankho mein ishara kya aur unho ne humein bahar ka rasta dikhaya. Jatay huey keh gaye "Rangoli se khana khatay jaiye ga. Per Head 1400"


Phir hamari nazar se guzray merchant navy ke bahadur insaan Captain Wasi! Captain Wasi ko bhi Somali pirates, mera matlab hai hamaray Mussalmaan Somali bhaio, ne Captain Phillips ki tarah pakar lya thha. (Ye sawal hum filhaal gol karjatay hain ke Ummah ki yekjehti aisay lamhaat mein kahan chali jaati hai) Dhoondnay pe pata chala ke Pakistan Navy ne unki koi madad nahi ki, lekin phir mazeed tehqeeq se saabit hua ke asal madad hee Pakistan ki armed forces ne ki.

Ab shuru hoti hai hamari Kahani. Script mulahiza ho:

MV Suez ko Somali pirates ne aghwa karlya hai. Usko bachanay ke liye Ansar Burney aur Dr Ishrat ul Ibad, jo ke dono DHA (Note: Armed forces contribution No.1) mein rehtay hain, din aur raat koshisho mein masroof hojatay hain. Wo sab se pehle Pakistan Navy ke  Chief Admiral Noman Bashir se ruju kartay hain. Noman Bashir, like a true patriotic Pakistani, categorically denies that this ever happened but when he gets told that the world has proof, he retracts his statement. (Note: Armed forces contribution No. 2). Phir ghussay se kehtay hain:

Ishrat ul Ibad aur Ansar Burney ghar ghar chanda maangnay jaatay hain. Waqt kam hai aur muqabla sakht $2.1 Million jama karnay hain. Kahiin se koi masbat jawab nahi araha hota. Phir bil akhir, sab se zyada donation ka ailaan kartay hain Bahria Town ke mojid (Note: Armed forces contribution No. 3) Malik Riaz. Malik sahab se milnay ke baad hum aa hee rahay thhe ke unho ne ek guzarish kardi.

Uskay baad NORE, DHA, Bahria Town mein rehnay walay aur Bahria Complex 1,2 aur 3 mein kaam karnay walay aur Bahria University ke talib ilm sab se zyada contribute kartay hain (Note: Armed forces contribution No. 4,5,6,7,8...........100) 10 mahinay ki sakht jidd o jahad ke baad bil aakhir captain Wasi ghar laut atay hain. Fleet commander Abbas terms ‘Operation Umeed-e-Nau’ a complete success.Yes! Paying $2.1 million ransom and rescuing our people is regarded as success. Bhei hamara success hai, hamari definition hai. Hum jaisay chahay define karein. Tum jealous kyun horahay ho. (Note: Armed forces contribution No. 101).  

Uskay baad iss pooray "kaamyaab Naval operation" ko sunehro huroof mein Pakistan bahri afwaaj ki taareekh mein hamesha hamesha k liye likh dya jaata hai. Aakhri scene mein Captain Wasi Allah ka shukar ada kartay dikhai detay hain.

[mandatory scene of Ibadah]

THE END

P.S. Qoobay ki guzarish hai ke agr aap kisi ko ISPR mein jantay hain tou iss script ko bhi filmi shakal denay ki sifarish karein. Bari meherbaani hogi. Warna ye bata dein ke Somalia immigration ke liye kitnay points chahiye hotay hain?

Carol Ann Grayson's Blog and my Reply

Carol Ann Grayson wrote a blog http://activist1.wordpress.com/2013/10/09/brand-malala-western-exploitation-of-a-schoolgirl/

I dont think she will ever publish my reply on her page. So I decided to put it here. Maybe after seeing this, she may want to show herself as "big-hearted" and "gracious" and may allow my reply on her page. (See every good act is in some interest)

So, here is the Reply:

Your first point, why only Malala? When you were nominated for Oscar, why is it only you who was picked up? Why not so many other great films like “Innocence of Muslims”, “Manila ki Bijliyaan” “Punjabi Gujjar” and “Moosa Khan”?

Your 2nd point that where is the justice to other girls? First of all, the other two girls Shazia and Kainaat, who were shot were also flown to the UK for treatment. The fact is that they were caught in the fire and WERE NOT the main target. You know when Benazir got shot, a few days ago 100s other died in her rally, a few died with her in Rawalpindi. Why not the same inquiry was done for each one of them? Why didnt the UN send a team for each of them killed? Why didnt every journalist in Pakistan or the west write an article on each one of them? Why didnt all the politicians of Pakistan go to each of the graves and offer prayers? The simple fact is that because Benazir was the celebrity. She was the target. There was no universal conspiracy that every journalist, tv anchor and politician colluded on Benazir’s death.

Your 3rd point that why only treat Malala and not other victims of Drones: Absolutely right that we should treat them as well but does that mean that until each drone victim gets the perfect treatment, education and health, we stop giving justice to all other children? It is the responsibility of the Pakistani govt to provide safety to all its children. The west will do as they please. They are separate countries and will work in their own interest. Like Pakistanis do in their own interest. For example: Pakistanis do not hold rallies or protest against the killings of their own fellow countrymen who are Christians and AHmedis but do it at a drop of a hat for the Burmese Muslims. Its in Pakistanis’ interest to promote that “Ummah” cause, so they do it. Same way, UK or the US work in their interests.

Your last point that Malala will become the champion of Drones like Obama. So for your kind information and so that you can breathe a little easy, Malala met Obama today and told him in his face “Drone attacks are fueling terrorism. Innocent victims are killed in these acts, and they lead to resentment among the Pakistani people. If we refocus efforts on education it will make a big impact” See the news here http://dawn.com/news/1049183/obama-meets-malala-yousufzai

Ghareeb Aadmi ka Masla

The Rehman Malik Theory

Rangeelay ne daryaaft kya hai ke Rehman Malik ek shakhs ka naam nahi. Ye ek phenomenon hai jo har daur mein maujood raha hai. Kaafi tehqiq ke baad, ye saabit hua hai ke Rehman Malik, har ahem leader ko mufeed mashwaray detay nazar aye hain. Kayee dafa tou ye apni asal shakal mein bhi zahir huey hain. Ye dekhein:

Rehman Malik aur Quaid

Rehman Malik aur Quaid - Picture

Rehman Malik aur Zia

Rehman Malik aur Zardari

Evolution of Malala's Conspiracy Theory

When Malala was shot:
1̶.̶ ̶S̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶t̶.̶ ̶S̶h̶e̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶a̶c̶t̶i̶n̶g̶.̶

When Imran Khan condemned the incident:
̶2̶.̶ ̶S̶h̶e̶ ̶was̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶t̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶T̶T̶P̶.̶ ̶S̶h̶o̶t̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶C̶I̶A̶.̶
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When TTP continued to attack Army sites and Malala given international recognition:
3̶.̶ ̶S̶h̶e̶ ̶was̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶t̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶T̶T̶P̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶T̶T̶P̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶C̶I̶A̶ ̶a̶g̶e̶n̶t̶s̶
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When TTP wrote the letter, explaining why they shot her:
4. She was shot by the TTP who regret the incident. She should leave the judgement to Allah. After all what TTP are writing in their letter is absolutely true about the New World Order.

(The above is valid until any new event)
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This is a mere coincidence that the evolutionists that I have met, also voted for PTI in the elections.
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